what’s called the ‘seven-year itch.’
Powered by WPeMatico
In terms of relationships and marriage, we have what’s called the ‘seven-year itch.’
In terms of dating, we have what is known as the ‘six-week itch.’
What is the six-week itch?
It’s the moment when the person you’ve been seeing isn’t as shiny and new as they used to be.
The facade is fading. Perhaps you’re starting to see those cracks in their perfect armour.
It’s a telling moment — you bunker down, or you get the heck out, and I’m usually choosing the latter.
Getting to this point of a relationship is the part I struggle with, and so I had a conversation with Tara Caffelle, the relationship ‘fairy godmother’.
Tara hosts workshops based on reconnecting with your partner by doing the little things, taking those small moments that add up to significant chunks of time, building what she calls the ‘power couples’.
Who better to seek advice about a ‘six-week itch’ from, than the woman who coaches people through their ‘seven-year itch’?
When facing the ‘six-week itch’, if you’re reaching this point in the relationship and you still genuinely enjoy each other, Tara refers to this period as the ‘sweat-pant movement’, when we start to let our defenses down and care a little bit less about how you’re coming across.
She feels that when this is happening, it means that both you and your partner are feeling secure.
Defenses are being let down, and we are a more vulnerable, and a little less polished.
Tara says to acknowledge the change, even with the simple statement: “This is a new level of intimacy.”
Contrary to my belief that you shouldn’t question the behaviours of the person you’re dating as you start to relax around them, Tara believes that you should point it out and comment on the sweatpants.
“You’re allowed to joke with each other and comment on what’s happening — we should speak about everything that is happening, and comment on the relationship growth.”
She does admit that this is also the point where deal breakers come up, but we can always observe our situation.
“It’s not right or wrong. We’re just noticing what’s happening.”
My takeaway from the conversation was that the ‘six-week itch’, or the ‘sweat-pant movement’, aren’t necessarily proof of a waning interest, rather, that a person is comfortable enough to start being vulnerable.
Something I’ll have to look out for as I move forward.
Tara’s final piece of advice?
“Realize that you’re enough. You don’t have to have someone’s love to make you loveable. You are actually loveable already. You are perfect already. As soon as we recognize that, we look for a mate in a different way, and we become a different sort of partner when we know that we love ourselves.”